Journaling has gotten me through a lot. I have books upon books and several word documents filled with my thoughts and tear stains. I have gained deeper understanding, clarity, resolve, and transformation through writing. Some of my best times in prayer have been through journaling. It is a great and accessible tool for most of us. But, many people wonder how to start journaling or they try so hard to have everything set up the right way that it prevents them from writing. That defeats the purpose. Just start writing!
Before we dive in, let’s catch up. Two weeks ago, I wrote about 3 important concepts regarding Black people’s experience of trauma. Then last week, I wrote about alternative (everyday) ways you can heal from trauma. One of those ways is writing/journaling. We all know that you can acquire as much knowledge as you want, but knowledge without action equals no change. The real change occurs when you practice what you’ve learned. So, let me show you how you can use writing to heal from your trauma.
Why writing?
Writing has been shown to have mental and physical health benefits. Some research shows that people who write strengthen their immune system and visit the doctor less often. The key however is in how you write. Have you been with people who vent about the same thing over and over again without any change? There is a difference between venting and working through something. In the same way, venting on paper doesn’t have the same effects as writing to process and work through something. There are two aspects in how you write that make a positive difference:
- Connecting thoughts and emotions: As you write, allow yourself to feel the emotions related to the upsetting event. This connects your thoughts to your feelings and enables you to work through what happened rather than writing it out like a story.
- Finding meaning: Focus on the meaning derived from the experience. This is what leads to Post Traumatic Growth (discussed 2 weeks ago). It may take a while to get here and nothing may initially make sense about what happened. Honestly, life can be unfair, so asking you to find meaning can feel unfair to you too. However, what happened, happened! Acceptance that the event happened and acknowledgement that you feel hurt by it are huge steps toward finding meaning. Start there and keep writing!
How do you write?
- Type or handwriting? It was believed that handwriting was more effective. The movement of your hand and paper stimulates different parts of your brain. However, because we are so digital today, the results seem to be not much different between typing or handwriting. It is more a matter of preference. Try either of them and see what works for you or you can use both like I do.
- Write without editing. This is where people usually get stuck especially when typing. It’s important that you just write because then you can access all your thoughts and emotions unfiltered. Once you begin editing, you are cutting off your emotional process. Remember this is not a school or work project, nobody is grading you, so go crazy and write!
- Create a sacred place and keep out distractions. Find some place that is private where you won’t be interrupted. This gives you more freedom to express without fear that someone will walk in on you in the middle of a thought. This is not time to check your email or social media. Put your phone on silent, close all tabs on your computer. Close out all distractions.
- Write for yourself (or to God). You are not writing for someone else. A temptation can be to worry about who is going to read it. When you have someone in mind as you write, it changes the experience of writing because you start worrying about what that person will think. Silence the voices and write without concern for others. You are writing to get it out of your mind. If you are truly worried about someone reading it, use a password protected word document or think of a good hiding place for your physical journal.
- I personally love writing to God because I know that He loves me, He knows the depths of my heart, He already knows what I am thinking and feeling even before I write, and He can handle all of my thoughts and emotions.
- Let your mood be your cue to write. A common question is how frequently you should write. Some people have a set schedule. For some it’s daily right before bed or when they wake up, for others it’s 3 to 4 times a week, and for others like myself, it’s when I feel like it. I can do this now because I have worked through a lot already, so I don’t need to journal daily. Apart from setting a schedule, a good way to decide for yourself is noticing what’s going on with you. If you find yourself yelling at people, easily angered, shutting down, feeling sad, or tempted to watch something so you can distract yourself from what you are feeling, that is your cue. There’s something that is bothering you and this is a great time to write. It will help you process what happened and get you feeling better afterward.
- Some ways to begin. It is not that easy to make the connection between what you are feeling and where the thoughts came from. However, the more you write, the easier it gets to draw the connections.
- Identify your current emotion “I feel angry (sad, happy, anxious, etc) about…”
- Identify the trigger that sparked other memories e.g. “I heard the sound of an ambulance pass by…. and I immediately thought of the time I got a call that my son was in car accident…”
- Identify the statement/question that made you think of other memories e.g. “Mary asked me if I have any kids…I didn’t realize until now that I’ve been thinking about the miscarriage I had”
- Identify what is going on in your life right now e.g. “Tomorrow is my birthday and even though I am happy I am alive, it is a sad day for me because I thought my life will be different by now…”
- Go deeper. Once you start writing, go deeper into what you are feeling. Write out your thoughts, all of them that come up. Ask yourself more questions as you write. Remember you are not trying to get anywhere, you are just writing whatever comes up.
- Decide how to end. There is no rule for how to end. It’s really up to you. Note that you don’t have to come to a resolve each time you write. Here are a few options for you to end:
- You can simply end by saying, “I’m glad I got that out right now.”
- You can end with “to be continued”
- You can ask what lessons or insights you learned from you journaling
- You can end with a resolution for yourself, something you want to do differently
- You can end with next steps e.g. follow up with Joe about…
- You can end by asking for God’s help and/or by thanking God for the insights you got
Okay, that gives you a lot to work with. Those of you who journal, share some other suggestions in the comments below!
I’m so grateful for this. I need to start writing again! Thanks again!!
You’re welcome Manka’a 😊
This was a particularly enjoyable and helpful post! Thanks, Dr. Amin! 😀
It’s my pleasure Blue!
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