In the beginning of the year, I wrote about Happiness: 5 proven ways to be happier in 2021, prompted by a reader who like myself sought insight on living happily. (Feel free to go back and read that article.) The premise was that we don’t have to wait for something monumental to happen before we experience happiness.
Although we are still in this semi-transitional place of getting out of a pandemic, there’s still a lot that can be enjoyed in the present moment.
As someone who likes understanding the human experience, it is only fair that I understand myself and practice what I preach. I remember asking myself when I got done with my doctorate, what’s next? Doing a post-doc. Ok, then what? Getting licensed as a psychologist. Ok and then what? I had to pause to hear the answer, which was Live!!! Yes, live your life and enjoy it. Not that I couldn’t live while I was in pursuit of my education, but there was always some assignment to complete. Now, there isn’t. So, I didn’t really understand what it meant to just live. However, the first 7 months of 2021 have provided me with lots of opportunities to live. So, let me tell you some things I have been learning and doing to live more fully in the present.
- Trying new things. A lot of research shows that we easily get accustomed to anything we do constantly and we return to our baseline of happiness. This is called Hedonic Adaptation. It is a reason why we can get bored in our jobs and even in our marriages. Therefore, to make life more interesting, it is suggested that we introduce some novelty like learning a new skill, doing activities we’ve never done before, being spontaneous. I have been trying new workouts, driving to new places, and having new experiences.
- Working at a goal or dream and focusing on the process. I am by no means talking about a big goal like starting a business or going back to school, although you could if you want. I am referring to a range of goals from small to large. I am also referring to focusing on the process of achieving the dream instead of the outcome. The process is where the living happens. For example, a goal of mine has been to learn how to swim and I finally did it from April to May this year. I discovered that I love swimming. Who could have thought I was missing out on a hobby all these years?
- Having more experiences with people. Research shows that experiences make us happier than material things. Think about it, when you buy that thing you’ve wanted for a long time, how long does it make you happy? For a few minutes. But when you have a great experience with people you like, you not only enjoy the time you had, but you also have lots of memories to remember what happened. Earlier this year, I traveled with my sisters to the Virgin Islands for a friend’s wedding and it still brings fond memories when I think about the trip.
- Trying new ways of doing your daily activities. Again, this is to help reduce our tendency toward hedonic adaptation. For example, yesterday, instead of reading my book while sitting on my couch, I decided to go out to one of my favorite parks to read while laying on a blanket. And I invited a friend who lived close by to visit me at the park. It was a lovely experience, which became much more than just reading.
- Challenging myself to do something that will help me grow. As difficult as it may seem to be challenged, we actually enjoy learning new things. We are happier when we are growing. So whether it is taking a course at work, reading a personal development book, learning a new skill, going to therapy, etc., this will introduce some excitement in our lives. I’ve been reading to improve my professional knowledge and I hope to try some new things with this blog (be on the lookout in October).
- Giving to others. It is amazing how helping someone else is beneficial for the other person and for us as well. We are happier when we are generous. It is such a gift to realize that things God asks us to do are backed up by research as improving our own wellbeing. Giving is not only financial or material, it can also be in terms of time, resources, abilities, etc. For example, this blog is one way I use to give to others.
To read more on the topic above, here is a book recommendation for you: The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does by Sonja Lyubomirsky
