Answers to 10 frequently asked questions about psychotherapy

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend and mentor from Central Africa whom I have known for 13 years and who has read a few of my blog posts. From our conversation, he just now understood what I do for a living. “You mean to tell me you are one of those people on TV to whom people come and tell their problems?”

I was thinking, “Yes, that’s what my past 5 years have been about, I thought you knew.” I realized that it’s not that my friend didn’t know, it’s more that he didn’t understand what I did until that moment. Afterall, psychotherapy was not (and still isn’t) common in many African countries. Africans used different practices to deal with mental and emotional difficulties.

So all this got me thinking… if he didn’t understand my profession and we’ve been talking about mental health for years now, what about other people? What about people reading this blog? After reading my story page and other posts on this site, do you know what psychotherapy is? Well, you’re in luck. Below I’ve provided answers to frequently asked questions about psychotherapy.

1) What is psychotherapy?

“Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is a way to help people with a broad variety of mental illnesses and emotional difficulties. Psychotherapy can help eliminate or control troubling symptoms so a person can function better and can increase well-being and healing.” ~ American Psychiatric Association.

Therapy can be done one-on-one (individual sessions), with couples, families, and in groups.

2) Who goes for psychotherapy?

Any and everyone can benefit from psychotherapy. You don’t need to be severely disturbed to seek therapy. Some people seek therapy when they are healthy and functional but want a deeper understanding of themselves or they want personal growth. Others are functional but realize negative patterns in their lives, work, or relationships that they want assistance with. Some others have severe emotional or mental difficulties that make it challenging to function on a daily basis, thus they may need more supervised care. There are also situations such as loss of a loved one, being in an accident, getting married, having a child with disabilities, being abused, etc, that can cause someone to seek psychotherapy. Read this post for real descriptions of people like you and me who could benefit from psychotherapy.

3) Why do I need a professional? Why can’t I just talk to my family and friends?

Please, talk to your family and friends! They are your support system. And also realize that there may be times when they are the problem. Or you need an external point of view from someone who is trained in understanding psychology and the human condition. Sometimes family and friends are over-burdened themselves and/or they don’t have the tools to help with certain challenges. Plus, a therapist role is quite different from a friendship in that their primary goal is to listen, identify, analyze, and move you to change positively.

4) But how does it really help when the therapist is just listening?

It is quite a mis-perception that therapists just sit and nod their heads and say “huh” “ehm.” This could be an additional reason to all of these why many Africans don’t go to counseling. Therapists don’t just listen. (This article describes how therapy actually works.) Therapy is highly relational. Therapists listen actively, asks questions to help in understanding, identify harmful patterns of thinking or behavior, provide insight when needed, offer education on the subject matter, and offer tools to the client. Because of all this processing, the process of therapy can be emotionally tiring for both the client and therapist.

5) Does every therapist do the same thing?

Not at all. There are many types of therapy and each therapist has a different way of working. Some therapists are more structured and others are less so, some are more directive and others are more client-centered, some may use activities during session while others may mostly utilize talking. Different styles may be preferable (and more effective) depending on the client and the presenting issue.

6) How long will it take for me to get results?

When I interviewed Africans in the U.S. about their perspectives on psychotherapy, a Nigerian medical doctor said he thinks one of the reasons that prevent Africans from following up after a 1st session is because they may think of therapy as medicine. You go to the doctor when you are sick and the doctor prescribes medication or treats you and you get well. With therapy, this is not the case. There is no “quick fix” and seeing a therapist once may not do much for your issue. In fact seeing a therapist for 3 sessions, 5 sessions, 10 sessions may still not lead to significant change. Depending on the presenting problem, it could take anywhere from one session to years in therapy. But you don’t have to be in therapy your whole life. Through therapy, you can acquire tools to manage your life outside of therapy.

7) What should I expect during therapy?

Expect to complete some paperwork before or during your first session so get there 15 to 20 minutes early. That African time will not work to your advantage because the therapist is working by the hour. So even when you arrive late, your time won’t be extended to make up for what you’ve lost, you will miss those minutes and waste your money. And sessions are usually 45 to 50 minutes long except for the 1st session which may be longer depending on the therapist.

Your first time and even a few more times may be uncomfortable because you are talking to a new person about yourself. Be prepared to help the therapist help you because they can’t read your mind so let them know why you came to therapy.

Therapy will not fix you and the therapist is not there to tell you what to do nor make you do things. Rather, therapy is meant to help you help yourself. In other words, through therapy you can gain more knowledge, skills, and insight so you can heal and more effectively handle the reasons for which you are seeking help. The approach will be different for someone who has severe mental issues.

Therapy is not easy and some parts of the process may even hurt. But no pain, no gain right?

8) How much does it cost?

Therapy can cost anywhere from $75 to $200 per session, but relax you don’t have to pay that much out of pocket. You can check with your health insurance, many insurance panels cover mental health costs. You’ll need to find a therapist that works with your insurance. Some therapists offer lower rates if you can’t afford their regular rate. And there are multiple affordable ways to get mental help (read the article). A few affordable ways worth mentioning are free counseling services at your university (if you are a student), lower rates through online therapy, and group therapy. Read what I wrote on affordable ways to find therapy and my resource page for more info.

9) How can I prepare for therapy?

Know why you are going and be prepared to talk about it. Reflect in and out of session and practice what you are learning. Ask questions when you are confused or unsure or if you need guidance. As much as the therapist knows about psychology and clinical issues, you know the most about yourself because you are the one that has been living your life. Hence, let your therapist know how they can better help you if you recognize something that is not working so well. And tell them when things they are doing work really well so that can keep doing them. Think of therapy as education on self. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

10) Does psychotherapy work?

The simple response is YES! Therapy has been shown to be more effective than not receiving treatment. It is effective for people of all ages (children, adults, older adults), people from various cultural backgrounds, and socioeconomic statuses. Do note that some treatments are more effective for different problems. And it is important to find a therapist that is the right fit for you. The relationship you have with your therapist plays a huge role in the effectiveness of therapy, so find the right fit. And don’t give up when the first session doesn’t change your life. It wasn’t designed to do so. Therapy is a process and you have to commit to the process to get results.

Well then my friends, that’s all I have for now. Am I missing something? Do you have other questions about psychotherapy that I didn’t answer? Please, comment below!