My people, it’s been a long time since I blogged, and I was beginning to tell myself that I’m a retired blogger and I’m moving on to writing books now (like this one 😉). But something (or Someone Greater) is calling me back here to write again or maybe to process because you already know I’m always processing something. And what better way to process than through writing and sharing? What am I processing these days? Transitions!
I wrote an article 10 years ago giving some encouragement to the fellow traveler like me. In the article, I described having moved several times and how it was challenging moving again. I moved for the first time when I was 3 years old, then I moved again at ages 15, 18, 23, 25, 26, 28, 32, and 33 (oh no, I’m aging myself). This list doesn’t include the shorter moves I’ve made. Fear not, I’m not moving again this time, I’m staying.
What I didn’t realize back then is that there are multiple sides to transitions. And they are happening all around us as people’s lives are constantly changing. It’s summertime, soon to be the time when the kids move to a new grade or to college. Life is happening all around as people get married, take new jobs, move to different states or countries, or go through tragedies that alter their lives. Moreover, life as a Christian is full of transitions as people decide to follow him, to stop following him, or to move to a different church, etc. Changes are always happening.
I used to think transitions were hard for the ones moving because they have to adjust to a new environment (if that’s you, read this article). But now that I am not the one transitioning, I realize that transitions are also hard for the ones who stay because there are changes happening around you that affect you.
We’ve heard of empty nesters getting divorced because they realized that they didn’t know each other anymore or friends choosing to leave the faith because many of their friends did the same thing. Some transitions can be so abrupt that it can cause a negative ripple effect on the ones that stay. So, what do you do when you are the one staying and there are all these transitions happening around you?
5 Tips to adjust to transitions
- Acknowledge what is happening and how it is affecting you. Sometimes, I am overcome by emotions that seem difficult to shake off. I have to pray and ask for God’s help to identify what is going on with me. This time, he has helped me to see that I am grieving about some of the transitions happening around me. Grief always seems to be part of any transition I’ve had because there is a loss of what once was. Even in the happiest of transitions, there is a loss of something good that has changed. The first thing that helps us adjust is acknowledging the emotions that arise.
- Accept what this transition makes possible. Transitions demand different things from us. In cases where people leave, their place needs to be filled, which might mean you may have more responsibilities than you did before. It may mean you need new friends who are local or more activities to occupy yourself. It can be easy to look at some of these changes as burdens, but you can flip this and instead ask yourself, “what does this make possible for me?” Maybe you wanted to learn a new skill or connect with someone that you haven’t had the time for prior. This is an opportunity to do so. It could also be an opportunity for you to grow in new ways.
- Continue to give of yourself where you are. It can be tempting to shrink back when you are feeling sad, confused, or out of place. But don’t fall for the temptation that your life is going to be a lot less exciting because of this transition, continue to give of yourself as you were before and maybe even more so because there is a whole to be filled.
- Keep in touch. I’ll say the same thing I said in my article to the traveler, stay in touch with the people who are moving. Relationships are work and it takes time and effort to reach out to people and not get caught up in the busyness of life. I’m guilty of not always keeping in touch with my friends and loved ones who are no longer close by. But we can all do better to stay in touch.
- Remember that God is always with you. One thing that has always helped to keep me grounded is knowing that God is always with me. Through all the transitions and movements going on around me, He is the only one who is constant. He is never changing, never going away, never transitioning, God is constant. That is comforting! It is even more so comforting that He promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). He says the same to you. Therefore, we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. (Hebrews 13:6). Take heart and trust that during this transition, you will be okay.
