I’ve been in the U.S. as an adult for about 15 years now. The longer I am here, the easier it has become to make the U.S. my home. I have an Americanish accent (depending on whom I’m talking to), I have adopted different things from American culture. I probably understand the U.S. system more than Cameroonian system. I know more references to American movies, music, food, etc. Some people may question my Africanness. There was a time when I felt lost because there are things about American culture that I didn’t know, but when I went back to Cameroon, there were things about that culture too that I didn’t know, new expressions, idioms, etc. I wondered where I belonged and if I was losing my African identity. Can you relate?
The issue of identity can be a struggle for African immigrants especially for younger people who are still developing their sense of self. A better question to ask is: Am I gaining a new identity?
Absolutely! And this is not new nowadays. With the increase in globalization and travel made easy, many of us do not belong to one pure culture. We are a culmination of many of the places we have lived. For someone like me, it gets even more complex because apart from growing up in Yaoundé, Cameroon, which was the longest time I lived in one place, I haven’t stayed in another town for more than 5 years continuously. Since I was 16, I’ve lived in 10 towns/cities for at least 11 months at a time. And I did not count the 2-month internships and trips in which I lived elsewhere. Every country has various sub-cultures, thus, as you can imagine, I have picked up different things from various sub-cultures.
If you are going through a transition, these insights I wrote may be helpful.
We are more than our culture
The truth is human beings are complex. We are a combination of our personalities, upbringing, cultural background, environment, you name it. As much as I can try to categorize myself into various boxes, I truly can’t fit into a box and maybe I wasn’t meant to. All my experiences in various places inform whom I have become and honestly, they have helped me to be more empathetic with different types of people. They have shaped my understanding of people and have helped me to become a better therapist. I have learned to dispel many of the assumptions I used to make about groups of people I had no contact with, whom I didn’t understand. I am more able to recognize each person for the individual that they are today. My identity as an African or African American or African immigrant or African American immigrant, whatever you want to call it says something about me, but there is so much more to who I am. What really matters is that I am secure in who I am, in who God made me to be.
Do you feel restricted by how someone has defined you?
We Africans have a tendency to categorize people. You are Bangwa, you are Yoruba, you are a doctor, you are an engineer, you are your father’s daughter, you are… (you name yours). What’s that box you’ve been put in? What’s the box you are putting yourself in? The one that seems like you have to live up to, you can’t escape, like you are forever stuck…
You are so much more than that category. And no one can limit you unless you let them.
Sometimes our families do this to us by dictating what we are supposed to do in life. “You need to become an engineer” “You need to become a doctor.”
“Have you ever heard of an African psychologist?” Thank goodness my parents never asked me that question. I never would have aspired to be one. And truly, I had never heard of one but I knew I wanted to be a psychologist and I happened to be African. Yes, there are more African psychologists now, but you get my point.
We also limit ourselves when we accept our status quo. Or we try to run away from what we don’t want. But this prevents us from having vision for what we DO want. So, what is your vision? What do you want?
Your character is what will carry your through
Regardless of cultural identity, throughout history the great leaders have moved us because of their character. Think about all the people you admire, the people that inspire you. I am sure there is something about their character that draws you to them. It makes sense because at the end of the day, what really matters is internal, what comes out of us (Matthew 15:11). This is why it is important for us to watch ourselves and continue to grow in our character.
I wrote the poem, Be that Person (found in my Self-care page) a few years ago when I was trying to affirm different qualities I aspired for. Even though I am not even half of those things I wrote 5 years ago, it’s okay. Life is a journey, so I won’t rush my process. Don’t rush yours either!
So go ahead, print out the poem and template and do what it says. With practice you CAN become more of whom you want to be!
Dr Amin,!
Important piece!
Should we speak about the gain of new identify and the evolution of the African identity in a new context?
YES!!! “The evolution of the African identity” sounds like a good title 😉 Merci Doc!