African-related

Handling difficult relationships during the holidays

Before you read this post, I would recommend reading the first one on how to handle difficult conversations.Broken relationships can be a real challenge and sometimes for good reason. Working with clients in psychotherapy, some people have presented some truly difficult circumstances. For example, I’ve spoken to different young women from collectivistic cultures who have experienced sexual abuse from a relative who has shown no remorse…

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December 7, 2019

How to handle difficult conversations with your African families during the holidays

While the holidays can be a time of rest and relaxation for many Africans, it can also be stressful (read what I wrote for stress management tips). One of the reasons why some people might dread family gatherings during the holidays is because of the difficult or anxiety-provoking conversations with family or friends. For some, the holidays can be a reminder of broken relationships causing them…

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November 29, 2019

Why you might not have needed counseling in Africa, but you need it in the U.S.

I often hear African immigrants say that they have never had a reason to seek professional counseling. (Read this post for common reasons they give). I believe counseling is even more important for African immigrants because traditional practices geared toward mental health in many parts of Africa are no longer common and are definitely not available in the U.S. African history lesson First off, I am not…

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November 16, 2019

Am I losing my African identity?

I’ve been in the U.S. as an adult for about 15 years now. The longer I am here, the easier it has become to make the U.S. my home. I have an Americanish accent (depending on whom I’m talking to), I have adopted different things from American culture. I probably understand the U.S. system more than Cameroonian system. I know more references to American movies, music,…

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November 9, 2019

Why prayer is not enough for mental problems

But I pray, why do I still need counseling? You’ve probably heard someone say this or you’ve thought it yourself. I get it, I used to think so too. But it is not accurate. If all we needed were prayers without action, then we wouldn’t need medical doctors, dentists, scientists, how far do you want to go? It would be unwise not to go to the…

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November 2, 2019

African-related / Relationships

Cultural clashes between African parents and their American kids

Yesterday, a client told me that she attempted committing suicide when she was 16 years old. One of the reasons why was because of the cultural clashes between herself and her immigrant parents. She felt a lot of pressure from them and didn’t feel understood by them. Today, another client cried as she told me that she just wished her parents would also care about aspects…

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October 19, 2019

Stories of mental distress and how to identify yours

You know when you go to your doctor and they ask for your family’s health history? Many Africans don’t have much to write, not because there are no health issues in the family, but because they are not aware of them. Maybe some health issues weren’t diagnosed. The responses to mental health history are even more scarce. The questions go something like this… Do you have…

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October 11, 2019

What prevents African immigrants from seeking mental help?

Seeking mental help is not an easy thing to do. Not only do I know from personal experience (yes therapists need therapists, we’re human), but I've met many people, Africans included, who have thought about psychotherapy and have given up without trying. After all, you are first acknowledging that you have struggles. Second, you are recognizing that your issues are beyond your capacity to handle. Third,…

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September 7, 2019

African-related

Why Africans struggle adjusting to the U.S. larger culture: Collectivism vs. Individualism

Many of the challenges African immigrants face in the U.S. are because they leave a collectivistic culture to one that is individualistic. In many ways their worlds are thrown upside down and their confusion may not be so obvious. It can be difficult for the individual to understand what’s going on, not to talk of trying to explain it to others. It can also be aggravating…

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September 7, 2019