If you’ve been a part of a church or any group, you’ve probably experienced hurt. Many of us have been there. Either someone has said or done something that was hurtful, has misunderstood or judged you, or has made you feel unwelcome. One of the saddest things about “church hurt” is that it is very common for us to generalize one or two people’s wrongdoings to…
Why do we know so many people, but don't know many people? OR let me put it this way, why do we have many connections but don’t feel connected?We are living in the most connected and the most disconnected times. We are living in an oxymoron. Of course, the pandemic has made it worse, we are more physically separated. But then, it has also reminded us…
Relationships are challenging. Even more so during the holidays. We are reminded of our relationships with family and friends, those with whom we get along and those with whom we don’t get along. It can be hard to navigate our relationships with those who have hurt us. Will forgiving them mean you are accepting what they did as okay? Does it mean you should allow them…
To continue the Singleness and Marriage Series, I promised to write on God’s perspective.To God, being single or being married with or without children is a good thing. No one is above the other, we are all on equal status before God. If you are married, good for you. If you are single, good for you too. If you have children, good for you. If you…
African marriages! Have you felt that sense of pride when you overhear your parents talking about you and your new spouse? No wait, it’s actually when they talk about you giving them grandchildren. In their eyes, that’s when you have arrived. You can do whatever else you want with your life after that because you have gotten married and you have had kids. This sentiment comes…
Have you noticed that some African parents don’t really consider you a grown up until you are married? The scenario goes something like this:Relative (the one I referred to here): I haven’t seen the children in a long time. What is so-and-so studying again?You: She graduated over 7 years ago, she’s working nowRelative: Oh! What about ehm… the other one… (trying to remember his name)?You: My…
How did I do a whole relationship series without talking about being single and being married? Sorry oh! But get ready for it because for the next few weeks, I’ll be doing another series on singleness and marriage.If you are African, you’ve heard it one way or another either about yourself or about a sister, brother, cousin, someone who is single… Every married relative (and by…
We have been living in a pandemic for the past 4 months, which means we’ve been socially distancing, living in an unusual way from how we normally do as human beings. And for what seems like the first time in U.S. history, people of ALL races have been forced to examine their perceptions on race and deconstruct their racial prejudices. As tragic as the last 4…
I took a break from the Relationship Series last week and created this Racism healing tool kit so please use it and share it! I just want to add that even though the nation is finally openly acknowledging racism and prejudice as an issue, let this indignation not just be a trend. Let’s truly do our work to change personally, how we relate to others, how…
Being a parent is difficult. Nobody really teaches you how to be one, you learn on the job. As adults, we understand this (hopefully), but you know who doesn’t understand? Your young children! When they are young, they think you are the most wonderful thing that happened to them, then they start to grow up and they have thoughts and opinions. Then they have dreams that…