My people, it’s been a while since I ranted about something random like how people struggle with our African names or how our African relatives won’t let us be single. Well, it’s time! Time for another rant about adulting.

Various cultures used to have markers and ceremonies to signify emerging adulthood. But with globalization, many of those things have been lost. In the U.S., you become independent from your parents at 18 and you are allowed to drink alcohol at 21 (seems off if you think about it, but here we are). As the scientific world learns more about our bodies, they’ve found that the brain is still developing well into about 24 years old, which implies that adolescence is really from age 12 to 24. Does that mean you are not really an adult until 25? When should we consider someone an adult? When did you know you had become an adult? Ok, how about this one, when did your African parents consider you an adult? All these questions look like they should have the same answer, but they most likely don’t. That makes it very confusing, doesn’t it? 

And why didn’t anyone tell us that being an adult isn’t that great anyway? Figuring out what you want to do with your life, paying your own bills, going to work every day, maintaining your car, house, belongings, yourself, I mean you still have to eat, sleep, and care for yourself. All the while, you are also sustaining your relationships with your partner (if you have one), friends, family, and caring of the details of your young kids’ lives. Then, as you get older your body starts breaking down, your parents are getting older and might need your help too, and your kids need a different type of support. This is life as an adult! And none of us can stop it. As long as we are alive, we will all go through this process. Isn’t it worth talking more about it than we do?

Do you remember in The Cosby Show when Theo wants to be an adult and his dad goes over a budget with him, then the whole family acts out what it’s like to live in the real world? I think all parents should do that to their kids yearly just to give them a taste of the real adult world. It might help them develop a better understanding of adulthood. 

While I may not solve your adult problems here, if you are an adolescent or an adult, I just want you to know that life is hard for all of us. Don’t be deceived by the glam of Facebook and Instagram, that’s a moment in a whole day. You’re in good company about the struggles of life. Here are a few things that can make adulthood more manageable: 

• Get rest
• Create margins in your day and life to slow down
• Take on what you can handle and let go of the unnecessary things that are adding stress
• Live within your means and stop trying to impress
• Have meaningful relationships
• Take care of yourself by practicing FRESP 
• Find and do work you enjoy
• Get to know yourself

Finally, follow the example of someone who did life perfectly, Jesus. For he says in Matthew 6:25-34 

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”