How do we balance God’s grace and God’s sternness?

I was recently rebuked (strongly corrected) for something I did. Yes, it was painful, but Proverbs 27:5-6 says “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” I know I can trust the correction because it was given in love by mature disciples in my church. Although it brought a lot of unpleasant feelings initially, I’ve repented and now I feel refreshed. Moreover, I have deeper understanding of questions I’ve had for years. I feel very grateful for the correction. I was also reminded of Proverbs 3:11-12, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” God loves me so much in exposing my faults and showing me the right path.

All of this got me thinking, how do I take my sin seriously yet accept God’s grace? While God is abounding in love and compassion, he is also very stern and has shown his wrath several times throughout the Bible. We tend to bend toward extremes; we can see God as the mushy kind of love or the scary kind of wrath. But God is both loving and serious. So, how do we balance God’s grace and God’s sternness?

Dealing with sin sternly

Have you heard people say they like Jesus, but they are not too sure about the God of the Old Testament? They might have read frightening stories of God’s wrath, which I don’t have time to go through here. But Hebrews 1:3 and Colossians 1:15 point to Jesus being the exact representation of God. In other words, if you want to know how God thinks, feels, and acts, look at Jesus. We see him saying the same things God the Father said in the Old Testament, which makes sense being that Jesus came to fulfill the law not to abolish it (Matthew 5:17).

Jesus said some very stern things about dealing with sin. If you read Matthew chapter 5 to 7 and put it into practice, you will change your life completely. Here are a few examples:

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30 NIV)

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment…Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:22-24 NIV)

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV)

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22 NIV)

Why does Jesus have such stern instructions? His approach is quite radical if you think about it. Gouge out your eye, cut your hand, go make peace before offering a gift to God, forgive repeatedly so that God will forgive you. Those are extremely high standards. What Jesus is really saying is that when you notice that something is off in your heart, you need to do whatever possible to make it right. This calls for a radical approach to dealing with whatever will tempt you again. Jesus knows that whatever is in our hearts can grow. If it is anger, it can grow to resentment and bitterness, if it is desiring someone, it can grow to lust, if it is unresolved hurt, it can grow to unforgiveness. Thus, he wants us to deal with it quickly before it grows and corrupts our hearts, turning us away from the freedom and love he offers.

The devil knows our weaknesses

In working through my issues, God reminded me that the devil knows my weaknesses as much as He (God) does and he (the devil) will find every opportunity to tempt me and lead me astray. This is another reason why Jesus is radical about dealing with sin and avoiding temptation. We, Christians, are warned in passages such as 1 Peter 5:8-9,

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

This calls for dealing with our temptations radically. Know what tempts you, don’t wait to be presented with a similar situation again, prepare and put boundaries in place that will protect you from falling for those temptations. Pray incessantly!

If you are like me, you might want to compare yourself to others like, “But God I’m not out here doing X,Y, and Z like some people, don’t all the great things I’m doing count?” It is quite human to compare ourselves to others. Even in John 21 after Jesus’ resurrection and reinstatement of Peter, he predicted “the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God” (vs 19). Peter being who he is, asked “what about John?” and Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (vs 22). Jesus is telling him, “mind your business.” Whatever Jesus has planned, or he is doing in someone else’s life, that’s up to him. But he tells Peter “YOU must follow me.” We must be the same! Whatever other people are doing that is good, bad, or indifferent, that’s between them and God. God calls you and me to follow him. Jesus is the standard to follow, not people!

Your friends who don’t understand might tell you, “What you did wasn’t so bad, why are you setting such a strong boundary? Don’t be too hard on yourself.” But you and God know what is in your heart, which the devil can use again to tempt you. You also know Isaiah 55:8-9,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

God’s ways and God’s standards are so much higher than ours. So, we can trust His Words and wisdom more than our foolish wisdom.

God’s grace is abundant

One of the greatest things about God is that he doesn’t ask us to do anything that he hasn’t already done (even though he didn’t have to). Jesus is the perfect example of how to deal with temptation although he had no sin. In Matthew 26, he prayed over and over until he was strengthened by God. In Luke 4:1-13, when he was tempted by the devil, it is evident that he knew God’s Word and believed it because that’s what he used against the devil’s temptation. We have a perfect example on how to deal with sin by prayer, fellowship with disciples, and knowing the Bible.

Nevertheless, God knows that we are not perfect. There are times when we have the right intentions and even the right heart, but we still fall into sin. We can know that our experience is not unique, it is common to all humans, but God can help us.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV)

And when we notice our weaknesses, instead of beating ourselves up for them, we can remember that God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). Therefore, when we are weak, God is strong, hence we are made strong.

So back to my question, how do we balance God’s grace and God’s sternness? By repenting when we sin, knowing our temptations, continually confessing and fellowshipping with Godly Christians who can redirect us to scriptures. By praying and reading the Bible to stay connected to the truth. By not dwelling on our sin or our past. Rather by accepting God’s grace to change us and extending God’s grace to others especially when they have wronged us. By fearing God for “Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.” (Ecclesiastes 7:18)