There is a romanticization of America that happens before people migrate to the country. Maybe it’s all the TV shows like The Cosby Show and Family Matters, which we watched growing up. Maybe it’s the notion that America is the land flowing with milk and honey. Many people can attest to envisioning some things differently before they migrated. Research shows that transitions are one of the reasons that aggravate mental issues, all kinds of transitions including those that are exciting like getting married. Transitions on their own are stressful but transitioning to a place that you perceived very differently from what is, can be even harder. It is one of the reasons why the first few years after migrating to the country can be depressing.
I recently asked a friend who moved to America 4 years ago how his experience has been. He moved from a Central African country and his primary language is not English. He said the only thing that brings him pleasure now is his family here. Some of the stressors he experiences are loneliness, working long hours and not seeing the results because he has too many bills, and experiencing racism and prejudice. The transition has been very tough on him. However, I know from experience of now being in America for 16 years that we adjust and life gets more manageable with time.
Why aren't we honest? Here's your chance...
But it got me thinking, why aren’t we honest with our loved ones back home about the challenges we experience in America? Is it because we want to give others the perception that life is great? Is it because we feel guilty saying that life in America is hard when we know many others long to be in our place? Do we embellish the truth for fear of seeming ungrateful? Or maybe some of us are honest, but people don’t truly listen and think we are exaggerating?
I wonder if we could do a better job at preparing our loved ones for the transition, so they know what to expect. I believe if people were more prepared for the reality of the move, they would fare better.
Therefore, for all those who migrated to the U.S. from a different country, if you could go back and tell your younger self what you know now about transitioning, what would you tell yourself? What advice would have helped you? What do you know now that you wish you were told earlier?
Please, write them out in the comments below!
This is such an important topic. I believe that it is not only people refusing to be honest with African immigrants.
Sometimes, our family and friends who are immigrating are not really open to listening because the reality can break the fairytale.
I completely agree with you Tina. It is truly a fairytale in many people’s minds.
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