“I’m everything and I am nothing. Nigeria is quietly begging me to remember while America slowly urges me to forget”
Bassey Ikpi quotes in her Def Poetry Jam piece. Born in Nigeria and growing up in the U.S., Bassey talks about the pull of living in two different worlds. She remembers her grandmother speaking to her in her native tongue while she is only able to respond in the White man’s tongue she knows, English. Nigeria is begging her to remember home while America urges her to stay and forget Nigeria.
Can you relate? I know I can! Being raised in Cameroon and now living in the U.S., the longer I’m here, the larger the pull to stay.
I recently read this article “Shocking Data: The 2 million Africans living in USA May Never Retire” (a must read), which made me think “that is the sad truth.” I felt conflicted reading it because of the part of me that wants to stay in the U.S. and the other part that wants to go back home to Africa. If you are like many Africans living in America, you have had the thought to move back home at some point. Maybe you are already planning when to go; life seems a lot simpler there and you know the culture. But then, if you have been in the U.S. for over a decade or if it is all you’ve known in your adult life, it can be difficult to pick up and leave. Afterall, you really don’t know how things work in Africa in 2020 even if you were born there. Your knowledge of Africa may be from the 80s or the 90s and things have changed since then.
Additionally, you’ve built a life here, you have friends, investments, maybe you are married, you have kids who don’t know much about Africa except through you, you finally understand how things work in the U.S. (okay maybe not completely). You may be thinking, “do I want to leave everything I’ve built, friends, family, mentors, colleagues, and go back?” But then haven’t you been doing that already? You are used to adjusting, you did it here, you can do it again. The question is, “do you want to do it again?” That’s the quandary described here, “To go, or not to go, that is the question!” (Go read the details, it could give you some things to consider.)
Honestly, I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. What is most important is that you weigh your options, make a plan, commit, and follow through. If we allow things to fate, “Oh I’ll just wait and see what happens,” you’ll stay right where you are because if you don’t plan where your life is taking you, someone else will. Your boss will plan it for you, your children will plan it for you, your friends will plan for you, life will plan it for you, you get my point… life doesn’t stop while you do your daily routine. The days turn to weeks, then to months, then to years. The next thing you know, 30 years from now you’ll look back and say, “where did all the years go?” What did I do with my life? How did I end up here? You didn’t plan, that’s how! But you can start today. Think about what you want, plan, and start making the steps to get there.
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