Can you believe it’s already mid-November? The holiday season is fast approaching and it’s going to feel weird for many of us, being that it’s the first time we are advised to stay away from family and friends. But then, it could also be a relief to some that have a hard time with family.

The holidays usually come with stress, but this year’s stress is of a different kind. Many of us are a little confused about 2020 holiday season. Should I go visit family? Should I stay? Have they been quarantining? Should I quarantine when I get there? Are we going to wear masks in the house? 

Some people are fed up with this new normal and are back to trying to live life as if we are not in a pandemic. But then, more states are starting to shut down again due to the increase in Coronavirus cases. Some people are angry that others won’t wear masks while others are upset that some will not visit them during the holidays. There’s a lot of judgment going around about what people should or should not do because of the pandemic. 

The pandemic is punishment enough. We don’t need everyone else’s judgment about our actions. The only person I can control is myself. 

So, this holiday season, here are a few tips to manage yourself and let others manage themselves. 

1. Decide what’s comfortable for you. How do you feel about meeting with people? Are you taking hugs/not taking hugs? What do you want to do? Talk it over with those living with you and come to a mutual agreement.
2. Communicate your decision with those who might be impacted i.e. loved ones wanting to have a Thanksgiving dinner or friends inviting you over. 
3. Accept other people’s decisions. We can agree that not everyone will like your decision and you might not like other people’s decisions, but such is life. Again, you are only in control of you.  
4. Grieve your losses (or rejoice for a quiet holiday). If this is really hard for you, you might need to grieve your losses. Or you may be excited about finally getting a quiet holiday without guilt for not wanting to attend gatherings.
5. Ask yourself, “what does this situation make possible?” Are there some things you still can do? You can have virtual celebrations. You can create a new tradition. Is there something you have always wanted to do that is still possible? You might be surprised to see that there’s still a lot available to you this holiday season. 

For more tips, read what I wrote last year on dealing with difficult emotions during the holidays.