Since this post is about storytelling, let’s start with the story of how this post came about. I had the idea to write about African storytelling three weeks ago and I wrote a few paragraphs, and thought to myself, “I’ll come back to it later.” I knew I needed to add to it before I post today. Two days ago, I resumed working on it, but it didn’t lead anywhere. Thank God for my church for putting on live streams of sermons and classes during this pandemic (feel free to join in). Yesterday, I felt a nudge to attend the one on “The Parables” and there it was, storytelling! (I hadn’t even made the connection of parables and storytelling prior to that)… You know that feeling of pleasure and satisfaction you get after you have eaten your favorite meal? That’s how I felt afterward. It changed the direction of my post and I felt this was more important than African storytelling (we’ll do this some other time).
“People may make plans in their minds, but the Lord decides what they will do.” (Proverbs 16:9 NCV)
I want to share my biggest lesson from the class on “The Parables” and how this applies to listening well and transformation.
Being a psychologist, I find that people who are truly able to grow and change are those who are open to change. This sounds obvious, but you’ll be surprised how many of us are closed off rather than open to changing our ideologies of our world. As a result, we remain stuck in the same old patterns and problems and don’t receive the help we need even when it is right in front of us. Don’t get me wrong, changing what we’ve known all your lives can be difficult, but it is possible if we are open to changing.
What has this got to do with storytelling? We are transformed by stories. Every time we communicate, we play the role of a storyteller or a listener. Although we all love a good storyteller, how we listen matters.
Meaning versus significance in stories
Back to my takeaway from the lesson. When we listen to stories, it is important to understand the difference between meaning and significance.
Meaning: What was the intended meaning?
Significance: What does this mean to me?
Meaning – This is the listening part. Quite often people go to significance without trying to understand the meaning first and this is why people don’t listen well. You can’t hear what the storyteller is really saying because you are thinking about yourself rather than thinking about the intended meaning of the story. When you approach the story in that way and make it about you before understanding, you miss out on the actual teaching.
Significance – This is the transformation part. Some people never get to this part because they like a good story and so they don’t stop to ask, what does this mean to me? What do I need to change about my life based on the meaning of what I heard? When you don’t do this part, well, nothing changes.
Do you see how you could miss out if you miss either step? You can miss the actual teaching (meaning) or you could miss how to apply it to your life (significance) or you could miss both.
To take it even further, this is how Jesus, the greatest teacher and storyteller describes it in Matthew 13:14-15 (NCV):
So, they show that the things Isaiah (6:9-10) said about them are true:
‘You will listen and listen, but you will not understand.
You will look and look, but you will not learn.
For the minds of these people have become stubborn.
They do not hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might really understand
what they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears.
They might really understand in their minds
and come back to me and be healed.’
When we erase ourselves, voiding our preconceived ideas and judgments of the subject matter and just listen to what is being said, we can truly hear and understand the intended meaning, then we can seek significance. When we approach storytelling from a good book or teacher in this way, we allow them to move us. When we approach God this way, we allow God to move us. When we are closed off and insert ourselves into what is being said before understanding what is being said, this causes misunderstandings and assumptions. When we don’t think further of how to apply what we hear, it has no lasting effect. When we are closed off to God, we can’t really hear Him nor can we allow Him to heal us and teach us.
So, the next time you are listening to a story, reading the Bible, or listening to someone you want to learn from, ask yourself first “what is the intended meaning of this?” Then, ask yourself, “what does this mean to me?” Try it out and let me know what shifts for you in the comments below.
Last week, I told one of my daughters that when the children have holidays I will connect with them and have story telling sessions with them. This is because as I was writing, I remember the story of the “washerman donkey” with its meaning. Hence this ties in so well.
I’m glad it is fitting for your storytelling idea. Family storytelling is such a lost art, good to hear you have plans to do it. I don’t think I know the story of the “washerman donkey,” feel free to share it (or a summary of it).
This is a great post! The art of storytelling has always been important in not only passing down life-lessons but a time to be quiet and listen to our elders or the narrators. The Griots in West Africa are respected and they take center stage during important occasions. People always listen so they don’t miss the punchlines. We seem to be losing that ability to listen because of so many distractions.
Yes! Your description here was my initial thought when I was thinking about storytelling. You are right that we have so many distractions that hinder us from listening 🙁
Nice piece! There’s a lot out there about how to tell stories. It is good to get the other perspective, how we listen to stories.
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