Knowledge does not equal behavior change. If it did, the world wouldn’t be in so much chaos (and I would be out of a job). But why doesn’t knowing directly lead to change? Because of our defenses and automatic responses developed from our upbringing, culture, beliefs, traumas, and sinful nature. Even the apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15-20 (NIV)I do not understand what I do. For…
“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” (Acts 17:26-27 NIV)It’s encouraging to know that God is…
Most people don’t want to talk about it. Maybe that’s why we should, right? It’s been on my topic list. Plus, the topic keeps coming up with clients, in the books I’m reading, or let’s face it, in life. We’ve all heard about someone passing away recently especially with the pandemic and everything that’s happening in the world.Death is one thing apart from change, that we,…
It is inevitable that we hurt others intentionally or unintentionally. This is part of our fallen humanity. Life is not perfect, and neither are we. I have been in different situations where I have commented or acted in a way that has offended someone. It is hard to hear when someone approaches you with, “when you said…” or “when you did… I didn’t like it.” However,…
Last week, I wrote about church hurts, why they cause so much pain and how to correct our understanding of church. I promised to write about steps for forgiveness, but this post morphed into something else and it's absolutely worth the read!When someone has wronged us, it is not our first instinct to think about forgiveness. Our first response is usually anger or thoughts associated with…
If you’ve been a part of a church or any group, you’ve probably experienced hurt. Many of us have been there. Either someone has said or done something that was hurtful, has misunderstood or judged you, or has made you feel unwelcome. One of the saddest things about “church hurt” is that it is very common for us to generalize one or two people’s wrongdoings to…
Relationships are challenging. Even more so during the holidays. We are reminded of our relationships with family and friends, those with whom we get along and those with whom we don’t get along. It can be hard to navigate our relationships with those who have hurt us. Will forgiving them mean you are accepting what they did as okay? Does it mean you should allow them…
Too much is going on and I don’t know what to say. I could write about what has been going on in Cameroon for the past 4 years aggravated by last week's attack on school children. Or I can write about police brutality and protests in Nigeria and in Philadelphia. I could write something to prepare us for the U.S. presidential elections next week. Or I…
Disclaimer: This is easy in theory but not always in practice. Stress is a part of life. We all experience it to varying degrees. Some stress keeps us motivated and productive, while too much stress can lead to burnout. We’ve been in a pandemic for about 28 weeks now and it’s changed our normal way of living. It’s changed the way we work, educate our kids,…
To continue the Singleness and Marriage Series, I promised to write on God’s perspective.To God, being single or being married with or without children is a good thing. No one is above the other, we are all on equal status before God. If you are married, good for you. If you are single, good for you too. If you have children, good for you. If you…