7 tips on how to develop consistent times with God

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Are you overwhelmed by the thought of reading the Bible or improving your prayer life? Maybe you want something deeper than going to church on Sundays. Or maybe you want to feel more grounded throughout your week. It can be difficult to know where to start or how to keep going. I’ve been there!

Having a relationship with God is a wonderful experience. It can be exhilarating, challenging, but it can also feel boring especially if you have been a Christian for a long time. At times, you could feel connected and other times you could feel lost, confused, or distracted.

If you’re thinking, “I don’t even know what it means to have a relationship with God.” No worries, I wrote about that here and this article goes even deeper to address this.

In 2012, I wrote a plan on steps to having Consistent Prayer and Bible Reading. It was meant to assist in building consistency in having quiet times with God. Consider the tips below an update. Remember, it takes about 21 days to develop a habit, hence if you find yourself drifting away from your plan within the first 30 days, don’t give up. Try again the next day or the next week or the next month! 

1. Set a time of the day

What time of the day do you want to dedicate to reading the Bible and praying? Some people focus better in the morning, others at night. Pick a time. Are you someone who needs the morning to center yourself or is the nighttime more appealing? I’ve found that the middle of the day has more distractions and makes it more difficult to truly focus. But it’s up to you, maybe you have an afternoon or evening slot that works.

The time does not have to be lengthy. You can start with 5 minutes and build up to an hour or more. The more time you spend with God, the more time you will want to spend with God. It’s just like a relationship as I described here, when your love grows for someone, you want to spend more time with them.

2. Prepare to pray

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing” which in some ways means we can always pray. Throughout your day, you could be reminded of something or someone and decide to say a prayer right there and then. In addition to spontaneous prayer, it can be helpful to have more purposeful prayer. This could help you be more organized while keeping track of what God is doing.

You could create prayer lists, have prayer cards, a prayer journal or prayer booklet, or a combination of them. There was a year I had a prayer calendar organized by days of the week (updated weekly as needed). For example, on Sunday pray for family members, Monday pray for my career and pursuits, Tuesday pray for these friends, Wednesdays pray for social issues, etc, you get the point. Come up with a system that works for you to organize your prayer life.

3. Prepare what you will do prior to the date

One way we can sabotage our times with God is by jumping in without preparing what we will do. For example, if you wake up today and say you are going to read the Bible, you could find yourself so confused about where to start that you give up. A better approach is to prepare ahead of time.

You can decide to study out the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), they focus on the time Jesus was on earth. You can choose to focus on a topic such as anger, humility, or repentance. Do a search for humility in the Bible and see scriptures or stories that talk about this or find a book that talks about Biblical humility. You could also choose to study a character or person in the Bible such as Moses, Ruth, Abraham. Decide what your plan is prior to the day, so that when the day comes you know what you will be focusing on.

4. Each day can be different

You don’t have to do the same thing every day. Lately, I’m noticing that some days I want to get deep into studying, but other days I just want something warm and fluffy. Okay, maybe not warm and fluffy, but something light that will encourage my soul.

So, I came up with a list of various items: read the book of exodus, continue my study of Revelation, write out my prayers, pray for the world (Covid, church, people in particular), memorize passages that speak about the gospel, sing songs from my worship playlist, listen to The Bible Project podcast, do a meditation from SoulSpace App and reflect. You can come up with your own list. Then, create a daily calendar on what you will do each day. It’s still useful to create a calendar using your list because it gives you something to fall back on during the times where you feel confused about what to do.

5. Personalize your times

A great way to make the time spent with God meaningful is to make it relatable to your current experience or situation. We all go through different seasons in life; some periods are more sorrowful because we may be grieving while others may be more exciting because we are celebrating. Additionally, we may be more focused on different things depending on what’s going on in the culture or environment in which we live. When in a grieving season, you may be more able to connect with Biblical stories that relate to loss, etc. Choose accordingly.

Ultimately, the Bible is a book for teaching, correcting, rebuking, and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Therefore, a great way to know what to read is to ask yourself questions: What do I need right now? What am I having a hard time understanding? What am I stressed about? What character do I want more of? Who do I want to imitate in the Bible? Once you have figured out what you need, you can study out each passage in the Bible that talks about that particular thing. Or you can read about a particular person who dealt with the same issue. For example, Abraham was called the father of faith, if you want to have more faith, you may consider reading about Abraham. Doing it this way will keep you motivated to read daily.

6. Take notes and/or write out your prayers

Things stick when we write them down. You can write out your reflections of what you read. You can also ask yourself questions while you read and write down the answers: What does this mean in today’s world? What would Jesus say to me if I was in this situation? What does this mean for my life? What do I need to change in my character based on this passage? I’m sure you will think of other questions as you read. The point is, it has a larger impact when it is personal and if you have aha moments every now and then. Read what James 1:22-25 says about this.

7. Get others involved

Living the life of a Christian was always meant to be done in community. This means having fellowship, worship, prayer, and learning with others. There are hundreds of passages in the Bible that talk about “one another” relationships. Even Jesus who is all-knowing, had his community. Plus, it is difficult to understand the Bible by yourself, you need people to help you and vice versa.

Jesus says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). A great way to improve your prayer life and get to know others is to pray with them. Prayer is a vulnerable time where you can truly see what is on someone’s heart while seeing how others connect with God. If you don’t have a faith community, pray to find one and start looking. I’m not just talking about going to church on Sunday. I’m describing having people in your life who understand the gospel. Ask God to connect you to someone who is part of a faith community and watch for him to do it!

Before you leave, remember that having a life long relationship with God means it’s going to be a journey. What worked for you 5 years ago may not work for you today and may change within the next 5 years. Try new things along the way. Be curious about where God is taking you and follow His lead.

Dr. Ajab Amin

Dr. Ajabeyang Amin is a Cameroonian American Christian Psychologist who writes on mental health, culture, and faith, providing resources for mental and emotional issues. She holds a PsyD in Counseling Psychology from Northwest University and an MPH from University of Michigan. Learn more about her on the "My Story" tab OR contact her for counseling at www.ajabtherapy.com

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