A little encouragement for the unmarried Christian

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Sometimes I wake up on Saturday mornings and I say this prayer borrowed from a dear friend’s best friend “Lord, order my day today” because my schedule is free to be rearranged. I wasn’t exactly planning to write today, but my plans this morning got moved to the afternoon, so here I am, writing. If you are a deep-thinking writer, you know it takes a lot of energy and sometimes you just don’t have the energy for it. But I have drafts saved, which helps. Lately, I have been thinking about my unmarried friends and clients. I’ve been wanting to share the spoken word poem below. Today seems fitting to share it. Now you know the story behind the post!

Being single in itself is actually a lot easier than being married. But don’t take my word for it. That’s what the apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 28b

So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. … But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

We each have our own issues that we have to deal with daily but for those who are married, you are also faced with another flawed human being every day. Nevertheless, most of us want to get married and it is that desire to be married that can make singleness very difficult for some, especially if it has been a desire for a long time. It can be especially challenging for women who are getting older and desire to have children. Not to mention all the external pressure from family, friends, and society at large. (I have written about various aspects of marriage and singleness here

About 10 years ago, I read this article called “It Matters Whom You Marry” It talked about how whom you marry will affect you in 5 ways, 1) spiritually, 2) emotionally, 3) mentally, 4) physically, and 5) relationally. It did a great job describing each aspect. I highly recommend you read it. When we are in love, we can easily lose sight of these factors. The longer we stay single, the harder it is to wait for a good partner without compromising our standards and convictions. We can easily find ourselves in situations we could have never imagined, gaining what we think we want, but losing ourselves. “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” Matthew 16:26 NLT

So, to all my single Christian men and women, this poem by Janette…Ikz (which you’ve probably seen) is an encouragement to you to hold out for God’s best. For God is not playing games with you. He will not make you jump through hoops to get what He already has for you. He sees you!

Dr. Ajab Amin

Dr. Ajabeyang Amin is a Cameroonian American Christian Psychologist who writes on mental health, culture, and faith, providing resources for mental and emotional issues. She holds a PsyD in Counseling Psychology from Northwest University and an MPH from University of Michigan. Learn more about her on the "My Story" tab OR contact her for counseling at www.ajabtherapy.com

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